Deception of the Devil

It's been literally months since I've posted but there's quite a vast amount of ideas and thoughts consuming my mind lately and I just keep putting this blogging off. As far as updates on Jacob and myself go.. the date has been set for June 9, 2012. We are still house hunting. He has turned in his paperwork to the bank and we should be viewing a house this weekend. Hopefully! I really like the outside so the inside will really seal the deal if all else looks right. I'm hoping to try on wedding dresses very soon and begin the planning process. I purchased my bridesmaid dress for my best friend's wedding a few weekends ago and it's beautiful!

School is going pretty well so far. I'm impressed with my grades thus far and well, I'm trying my best! I took on a temporary (hopefully) part-time position at Hardee's in town simply because I couldn't get enough hours in a the vet's office. I mean, four hours = $30 = Not enough money to support me. I really miss the wonderful people at Dr. Burke's but I visit very often and still get to put in a few hours which keeps my heart happy because I really love the people I work with out there. There's drama everywhere you go so you know I've been stressed about this new job. I won't go into details but I requested that a certain day would be a problem for me to work and managers told me no big deal. Once I started working, they're attempting to go back on their word. However, I've outsmarted them for now. I'm too blessed to be stressed and not letting the devil keep robbing me of my blessings and faith. He enjoys attacking my finances but God has it all in His hands and I'm not worried anymore. They do know that I will quit if it comes to it. The devil needs to realize I have the victory and he can't prevail. I've already won even in the heat of battle.

God keeps blessing me, really. I talked with Kelly two or three days ago about giving up. I didn't know what I wanted to give up but I was so ready to just call it quits. I wasn't about to walk out on God or anything, I just was tired of trying or something. It seemed my whole attitude towards life was just "whatever, I don't even care anymore.. let the devil bring it on." Why? I don't know. Basically, I didn't know why I felt so overwhelmed and stressed, I just was. Last night at church, we had the Chandlers', who are really amazing people, lead worship and Bro. Chandler preached a brief message. His wife had hit home during worship saying you know, someone is ready to give up. I really wanted to run the aisles screaming "THANK YOU LORD!" He saw me. It is so amazing to know God sees me. I'm not alone. He's always got my every thought in His heart. I can never fall farther than His hand or grasp. I may fail Him more than I bring joy to Him but I'm learning. I'm leaning on Him more now than ever. That's improvement in itself. I'm working on problems I've dealt with my whole life.. things people who love me know about and those things that I just try to take on myself. I love learning TRUTH. I never knew it before and I'm overwhelmed at how many people are being deceived by the devil and people of this world. People that they look to for answers are falsely leading them astray. Opening the Word and reading what's really there rather than picking a few scriptures for your "religion" is so vital to salvation. Why is it so easy to believe these lies? I'm finally getting really angry with the devil. I'm really mad at growing up and being taught lies. I truly know the narrow way. It makes so much sense now. I used to wonder how the way could be so narrow and only few would reach Heaven because there are literally millions who call themselves "Christians". It's not Christianity that I'm a part of. It's a relationship I'm in. I'm falling in love with Jesus everyday. It really is the best thing I've ever done. I wish I could reach everyone. I wish I could somehow show those closest to me who are not supportive of my "standards" that this is not a list of rules I'm living. I want to do these things for God. He told his disciples to preach the Word in all the world. That's exactly what those apostles did and I choose to follow that. I love where I'm going and I'm not giving up. One day I will see Him. I can't wait to look upon His face. Salvation is not just simply telling God you're sorry and verbally accepting Him as your personal Savior. Repentance is a sweet step to begin the journey but we don't really have to accept Him do we? It's really Him accepting us. His will is perfect and our way is not.

Sorry about this rant. I am just really angry with the devil lately. I'm more than a conqueror and I'm well on my way to a new level in Him!

lace, buttons, and pearls! flowers, feathers, and rope.. OH MY?

So, this is going to be a wedding themed post I suppose. Jacob's whole new schedule working a night-like shift is crazy and it makes me miss him a whole bunch so I like to think of our new life together, haha. I plan on just throwing some random ideas/pictures on here to give an idea of what the theme "really" is. 

What's the theme? If I gave it a name it would include these theme(S) with an "S", yes.

Old western/rustic, antique, vintage, peacock.

I seriously have a billion ideas and most of them DIY. Which means saving money! YAY!

I've planned decorations including things like mason jars, tree branches, lights, wood, buttons, lace, rope, burlap, flowers, pearls, peacock feathers, and much MUCH more!

So here's some pictures! These are strictly ideas and inspiration from etsy.com! Does not mean I am purchasing these items (: Remember, DIY!

those are invitation inspirations (: a dear friend is whipping up some designs for invitations and so far,

SWEET ;)

I like both of these for flower girl baskets (:

idea for ring bearer pillow!

and these are ideas for decorations for centerpieces, etc!

this is a possibility for a hair piece.. with a birdcage veil, of course ;)

and that's enough sneak peaking for one night!
l-o-v-e it.

My name is MATER, like TUH-mater.. without the TUH.

So after months of not getting rest, I finally got the incentive to flip my mattress over since it's been awhile since the last flip. I can't really tell if it's helping me sleep considering I've only slept on it for one night. I've not been able to go to sleep until around 1-2am when I'm just so exhausted I finally knock out. It's not fun. I've had tons of back pain lately. Mostly thanks to a dog at work. Bless her bones, she came in over a month ago and was down in her back end.. hips, legs, feet, everything.. even her tail was lifeless. To be honest, we didn't have alot of hope that she'd ever walk again. BOY, were we wrong! Just this past week, she's been standing on her own putting little amounts of weight on those rear legs. She stretches them and wags her tail. The back pain has to do with my therapy I guess we call it. I started out weeks ago with helping her get up and work her back legs which is really hard on a back. I know they always say "lift with your legs, not back" well in this case it wasn't so. She couldn't help me at all so it was lifting dead weight from the floor up so a back usually got involved. I got a brace this weekend and it has worked wonders. I don't have any pain while working with her anymore. Her improvement has also aided it! As well as many prayers! 

It's not the greatest quality picture but this was the first time I witnessed Sadie, the dog I was talking about, standing all by herself. She can really push my buttons sometimes when she gets tired and doesn't want to try but I was almost like a very proud mama this day!

Ok, God has extremely poured his blessings on New Life, my amazing church. We've been pushing all year to start our new "Family Life Center".. basically like a fellowship hall. We need the space desperately as our current sanctuary holds about 280 people give or take. We have around 250+ members that are regular attending. Yep, we need the space! So we've all been praying and fasting and giving in hopes for this to come to pass. We've joked about the old Pamida/Roses building becoming "ours" for some time now. Well, Roses stepped in and we thought Ok, God, maybe you didn't want us to have that.. you know, back to out original plan that we had made. Then Roses went out of business. We thought, YES, this is it. LOOOOOONG story short. God blessed us and this WAS His plan for us. The building is now ours and we plan to let God do amazing things with it. We are thrilled!

So God has also blessed my "almost" family. Jacob starts at his job full-time next week. I'm really happy because that means we can hopefully start purchasing our new home! I'm also upset just because I won't get to see him except for weekends. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make though because we really need the money to start our life together! It also means I can actually try to seriously plan our BIG DAY and set the date now, lol! Yay! Uhmmmm, we had a fabulous date night tonight. This is one of those rare times we get some time to ourselves. Seriously.... we never have date nights. I think we've had three maybe in the past year or so. Yeah. I just love him to pieces. O'Charley's+Cars 2=Happy us! Now time to get things settled down to rest and get up tomorrow for the Smithville Fiddler's Jamboree!! Yessssss (:

Tootlessssss! (:

PANiC/ATTACK

thanks to a dear friend for the title of this post, haha.

anyways, the title really has nothing to do with my mood or anything it was just funny at the moment i was typing this because of an earlier conversation with a friend.

HOWEVER... I could be a little bit in panic mode. Jacob and I have very recently been looking at houses, a whole lot. We have definitely found one that has kept our attention. We've seen the inside now and boy, we're (maybe it's just me LOL) in L-O-V-E with it! Like I said, it could just be me! (: I can't help it though, it's exciting! It's also nerve-racking! I mean, we can't afford this right this minute! With God, all things are possible!

Anyways.. YEAH! I'm stuck on this house. Lord, I hope you're listening to this girl's prayers! (:

Next subject.. I don't want summer to end. School is not even what I want to think about right now. I'm focusing on every other avenue of my future besides my career right now! HAHAHA! Anyways.. again. My cat brought me TWO, I shall repeat TWO! mice earlier. I did panic.

Work is work..................

Wedding planning is slow but sure.

and I love my Jacob. The end (:

I'll lift my hands and cry HOLY

I'm wayyyyy behind on this blog. I've really been slacking just simply because I haven't used my laptop for anything lately. I have internet on my phone so it's just easy to check e-mail and all there at the touch of my screen rather than loading the computer. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a pretty great weekend! Saturday...I CAN'T WAIT!.. Jacob and myself are going to see one of my new favorite people, Bethany Pemberton at her church for their anniversary services!! Oh yay! Then, Bro. Jeff McCool, who is amazing, is coming in for Pentecost Sunday to spread the fire of Jesus! And of course, I'll be signing with the most wonderful team.. and singing in the most wonderful choir! Busy, busy, busy! I've been looking at wedding plans ALOT lately and finally talked myself into buying the huge monster wedding planner/scrapbook I had looked at a few months ago. Now, I just gotta make the puchase. I really need one just so I can stop cramming my computer with pictures and notes and tidbits of plans here, there, and everywhere and just have them in one little notebook. I'm super excited! I know it's at LEAST a year away so I have some time to get things straightened out and close to perfect ;) As for the theme... it's unique to say the least. It will be vintage and almost western. The colors are based on both western and peacock :)! YES!!!! It makes me smile. Just insight on the vision, lots of lace, ribbon, rustic wood, lights in trees, picture frames, greens/blues/turquoises/browns, so very much more! See? This is why I need the notebook.. to get everything collaborated and not just a "sorta" idea... but a "nearly set-in-stone plan! May be posting pictures of ideas and inspirations soon! I have one inspiration board ready from awhile back so it may be the first to be uploaded :)

over and over again...

so it's been a while... i couldn't bring myself to write anything down simply because i didn't know how to explain life at the moment. at this point, i don't even really understand what's went on myself. honestly, last week started out to be one of the most miserable weeks of my life. basically, i thought everything was about to hit the rocks and crash in on me. i don't normally try to get upset about family things because i know i can't control or change things that go on in their lives so i hide the pain that situations bring me and whatnot. i've come to understand and realize that this is a dangerous place to be for me because i go with feelings far too much and if i'm upset but hiding it, things crumble before my eyes. i grow silent and distant for the most part and look to someone to just understand and lift me up without having to explain what's going on. i just look for a friend. jacob gets me and he knows that i'm an emotional wreck of a girl at best and he's not a "feelings, open emotions" kind of guy. and before i even start in on getting all this out.. if YOU and you know who you are read this.. i'm sorry for everything that happened and everything that was said or misunderstood last week..

i don't know where to start... or end for that matter. i can laugh about it now, saying you'd become my best friend. and you have for the most part. i guess you fill the void of my guy friend. i've always been attached to guy friends rather than girls because that's what i grew up around and who i grew to trust... guys. some things you just can't tell your significant other.. things you share with best friends.. and i can share this stuff with you. i can be so open with you and know you'll crack a joke to break the tension but be serious enough about it to get me over it. we may not always get along just perfect, but look at our past. HAHA! i speak for myself here in saying that last week was a train wreck and i felt like i was on the worst roller coaster ever invented. i was SICK. i'll never be able to understand what was going on or ever be able to explain it. i know everything happens for a reason and i wish i could know the reason for what went on. i wish i could erase it but then again, i don't. i wish you could see how much you mean to me as a friend and how much i rely on you to make me smile everyday! i know there's a spectacular reason why we've become such good friends and regardless of whether you feel the same or not.. thank you for being there!

besides that.. i'm fairly blank. but on to the end of the week............

it was amazing. ENOUGH SAID.

i love love love the fact it's warming up at night so i can spend the summer nights at the lake with the best people in the entire world.

You don't know like I know!

What He's done for me! (:

So, yesterday was one of those weird days. I had a wonderful day all around. Mom called me after church and wanted to know if I had come home because the hairdryer was on in my room when she got home last night, that was about the extent of weirdness. Besides the little feeling I had all night long.. starting with praise/worship last night. I was working the visuals back in the booth and normally I'm so stressed trying to keep up back there that I don't get into the service except for maybe listening.. but last night was entirely different. I felt a sense of peace and almost excitement. Pure bliss. This feeling continued on into the service and I admit, it was overwhelming.

 Fellowship with the BEST people in the world after church helped the feeling of happiness linger. I ignored it really having meaning(which I still don't understand, patiently waiting on that part) until a certain friend asked me if I felt like something good was about to happen. I was sort of taken back by this. I replied with an honest yes. It may seem like nothing to this person but it was my confirmation so THANK YOU for that, you're the best. I still don't know what the feeling was, but I would like to know. I'm expecting good things even if I'm put in the midst of a storm.. I'm set on  getting to the rainbow!