the more i seek You, the more i find You ♥

How do you know when you're in the right place in life? How do you know you're going down the path God wants you to?

I'm being tested for patience. I know I have pretty close to none. I keep asking God to just tell me where He wants me to go. I think for one, I'm not being as sensitive to the Spirit as I should be and two, I'm not being patient enough to WAIT for the answer. I seem so scattered these past few months, trying to get everything in order for the last three semesters of school. I will then graduate. Jacob is wanting to get married around September of 2012 which is about three months before I graduate. This makes me want to panic. I wonder if I'm making the right decisions about my future and about the occupation I've chosen. 

There's really no doubt about the man I've submitted my life to.. Jacob. I believe we were meant to be although we'll both admit we never thought so in the beginning. We always made jokes about us. I never pictured us together but I always promised him he'd always be my number one. It was strictly an inside joke. Little did I know, months down the road we'd be falling in love and a couple years later, this promise would be confirmed. I love everything he has to offer me. I love the faults he has. I love everything about him. I love how mad he can make me in one split second. I love how he can ONLY say "I'm sorry" which I can't stand but it somehow makes me get over it. I simply love him.

...to be continued

operation overload.

Recently, I've been overly de-stressing myself. I'm always the one that completely wigs out over the smallest little things once things build up in me over time. So lately I've been ignoring the fact that things bother me and just pray that God keeps me from putting stress on myself that's not necessary. Starting yesterday, I've went into almost panic mode. Registration for my next semester in college is coming up which makes me crazy. I absolutely have to get into the classes I have planned out or else I won't graduate early as I've intended. My head has been spinning all week trying to avoid all negativity and chaos. This is not working for me. I keep telling myself everything WILL work out because God is on my side. Even if my plan doesn't happen, His will. I've been struggling with completely submitting everything to Him when I know it's right. The unknown scares me. I like control and knowing what needs to be done right now. I want organization and understanding. The past week I have been extremely emotional over dumb things. For example, Sunday, the back brake shoes on my car had broken so every time I tried to stop pulling out of my driveway, I got a face full of steering wheel when the breaks would catch. I immediately started balling my eyes out and ran inside to my dad. I couldn't handle something so small. I only wanted to get to church. I had so much to prepare for that morning and needed to be there early. This stopped me in my tracks. I had been stressing over life in the back of my mind and completely ignoring it for months. Now, it's hit me and I'm completely burn out just thinking about simple stuff. I feel like I'm spinning in circles.. not going anywhere. I've heard God's promises to me and I know somehow, someway.. I will break through. The walls must come down and I have to submit every little piece of my life to Him. I love Him.

And this is why I decided to start blogging... next blog will be coming soon. maybe later today (: